Talking to Boys... Soberly

I'm in the Liberal Arts College. Basically this allows me to constantly look like shit in class because the only real guys worth paying any attention to are the ones in a trench coat in May that are probably well on their way to America’s Most Wanted. And don’t get me wrong I am totally not after an MRS. Degree, hence the Liberal Arts field. Being able to go to class knowing I won’t see any of these people on the weekends is a total perk of my major. That was until this spring. An absolute cutie, who is all sorts of artsy and scruffy, is in one of my classes. After seeing him a few times in class and finding out he’s a double major and therefore totally smart and dedicated, I'm in love… or lust, whichever.

            It seemed totally awesome, until I started telling my friends about the cute boy two rows over. They started asking what his name was, if we had talked, how old he was, you know the basic questions your friends are always dying to know the answer to about anything with a penis. I just sat and smiled because I don’t know anything about him except for what I can see from across the room. I started thinking about how I totally want to know the answers to these questions. And how I want him to want to know answers about me. Then it hit me.
            I don’t know how in the hell to approach, talk to, anything with a new boy, soberly. I know! How pathetic am I? I’ll be the first to admit I like having that three-shots- of-tequila layer of extra confidence. So do you, and if you don’t it’s probably because you prefer vodka. I started brainstorming ways to approach him or things to talk to him about. He’s definitely not my usual brand of boy, he seems… smart. So I started asking around, I had to know how other girls talked to boys in their classes, since this isn’t second grade where socializing is encouraged inside the classroom. Because that would be simple and all.
            After realizing none of my usual panel had any helpful anything. All suggested I talk to him. Hello!? That’s the part I need help with. This is a classroom not a bar. I can’t drunkenly  bump into him and sweetly apologize, while letting him peer down my shirt. So, I turned to the one person who never, ever lets me down. Google. Yeah I know even more lame. I googled how to approach a boy in class. And this is what it gave me.

Yep, how the middle school girl lands her boyfriend. And because I am an ultra loser who is ultra dying to become ultra close (and naked) with this boy I read it. And still nothing, nada zilch. I am still just as lost on how to talk to this boy as before. So I decided on a new plan of attack…

Try and find out what bar he goes to. This is college, everyone goes to the bar.
Who needs a relationship that starts out sober anyways?  Shouldn’t you meet the way you plan on spending majority of your time together? I think yes. Cheers to you!


  

What's this blog about?

This is a blog about being twenty and awkward. Or really not being awkward but more or less overusing the term to describe a seemingly normal life. About deciding what to do and say and when to do and say it. About being a hypocrite but absolutely never admitting it. About all the things we say to our best friends, judging others for the same exact things we love doing in our own life. About all the things we think another will know how to do or how to handle it, when really they are just as fucking clueless as we are. About all the things we know and say but never too loudly and never to the people we bitch about wanting to tell. About the inner doubts we all have, and if you say you don't have them, why don't you go eat a big pile of you're a liar. About how we all suck and we all lie and we all know it. About how we all talk shit about those people who are talking shit about us. I'm guilty and so are you. And this is NOT about me wanting to change any of this. Let me be honest, I love opening up a cheap bottle of wine and laughing with my friends about how much better we like to think our life is than yours. And I know you are doing the same thing with your friends about us. And feel free to go ahead and say you don't do it or that you do it with wine that isn't cheap because we all know deep down you are at least lying about one but probably both. This is about what we all think and what we are all dying to say because we know how fucking hysterical it sounds in our head. This is about what we all know, and I'll be the one to say it.